One evening, little Nila accidentally spilled her cup of milk on the living room floor.
Her mother gasped. "Again, Nila? You're always so careless!" she snapped.
Nila's lips quivered. She quickly grabbed a cloth, cleaned it up, and disappeared quietly into her room.
In another home, a similar thing happened. When milk splashed across the floor, Riya's dad smiled and said, "It's okay, these things happen. Let's clean it up together."
Different reactions. Same situation. But the emotional effect on the child? Completely different.
That's the magic — and the power — of parenting style.
Parenting style is simply the way you connect, communicate, and correct your child.
It's not about being a "good" or "bad" parent — it's about the balance you bring between love, guidance, and discipline.
Psychologists usually group parenting into four main styles, and each shapes your child's behaviour, confidence, and emotional health in unique ways.
This style is strict, rule-based, and obedience-focused. Authoritarian parents often mean well — they want discipline and success for their children.
But they tend to say things like: "Don't argue with me." "You have to listen — no questions."
Children raised in this environment may grow up responsible and hardworking, but they can also become fearful, anxious, or overly dependent on approval. They learn to follow rules — but not always to understand why.
In short: Discipline without warmth may create obedience, but not confidence.
These are the super-friendly parents — loving, warm, but often afraid to say "no."
Permissive parents believe children should be free, but too much freedom without boundaries can make kids impulsive or easily frustrated.
These children often have strong self-esteem, but may struggle with limits — whether it's screen time, bedtime, or school responsibilities.
In short: Love without structure may create happiness today — but confusion tomorrow.
Sometimes, life gets busy — work pressure, stress, or emotional burnout can make parents emotionally unavailable.
Neglectful parents may not mean harm, but their absence — emotionally or physically — can deeply affect a child's sense of security.
These children often grow up independent, but also lonely and unsure of their worth.
In short: Independence without connection often feels like loneliness.
This is the balanced parenting style — warm, loving, but firm when needed.
Authoritative parents listen to their children, explain rules, and set boundaries with empathy. Instead of saying "Because I said so," they say, "Let's talk about why this rule matters."
Children raised this way tend to be confident, emotionally balanced, and respectful. They feel safe to express themselves but also understand responsibility.
In short: Guidance with love builds emotionally intelligent kids.
Rohit, a 10-year-old, came home with a test paper full of red marks.
In some homes, that would bring tears, shouting, or disappointment.
But Rohit's mother smiled gently and said, "It looks like this was a tough one. What do you think made it hard?"
Rohit looked up, surprised. "I think I didn't understand chapter 3 properly."
She nodded, "Okay. Let's go through it together this weekend."
That night, Rohit wasn't scared of exams anymore. He was motivated. That's what authoritative parenting does — it turns mistakes into lessons, not punishments.
No parent fits perfectly into one category — we're all a mix depending on mood, culture, and situation.
In Kerala's context, many families still lean toward authoritarian parenting — valuing respect and obedience. But with time, many Malayali parents are learning to blend tradition with emotional awareness.
That balance — of structure and softness — is what builds children who are strong, kind, and emotionally secure.
When you feel angry, breathe. React later with calm words, not loud ones.
Let your child understand the "why" behind every rule.
"Do you want to study now or after dinner?" helps kids learn responsibility.
"I know you're upset," before correcting behaviour.
How you speak to your child becomes how they speak to others.
When you lose temper, say, "I'm sorry I shouted." It teaches humility.
If you find that your child's behaviour — anger, withdrawal, anxiety, or defiance — is becoming hard to manage, it might be time to talk to a child psychologist.
Platforms like Psyted offer child counselling and parenting guidance sessions that help you understand your child's emotions and create better communication at home.
Remember: asking for help doesn't mean you're failing — it means you care enough to grow.
Parenting isn't about being perfect — it's about being present.
You don't have to know all the answers; you just need to keep showing up with love, patience, and understanding.
So next time your child spills that milk, takes longer to listen, or breaks a rule — pause. Breathe.
Remember that every reaction from you shapes how they see the world. And in that moment, you're not just raising a child — you're raising a future adult who knows how to love, respect, and handle life with heart.
